My Journey as a Stay-At-Home Mom

  1. Asthra says:

    What a lovely post, Nancy. Being a stay-at-home mom is without a doubt the most essential profession in the world… You are influencing the future. As a (largely) stay-at-home parent with kids who are either grown or ready to start college, I can assure you that staying at home makes all the difference!

    Asthra Senior Living Home – https://asthraliving.in/

  2. Hi, I was not a stay-at-home mum. In my country we have free childcare so it was not an issue. However I too struggled with serious post-natal depression. I felt constantly guilty for going to work, and it seemed that no matter how hard I worked it was never enough. Sometimes I think that whatever we do, we women cannot win.

    I salute you for making the decision to stay at home. I did it for a few months and I know how hard it was. Sending you a big hug xx

  3. Sarah Schumaker says:

    Reading this post is exactly how I feel right now. I am a new mom. My daughter is almost 4 months old. I’m 30 and I never planned on being a stay at home mom. I even told my husband before we got married that if we were fortunate enough to have kids I was still going to work (even though he didn’t want me to send our kids to daycare). Then I got pregnant a month after we got married and I put off telling our families, friends and work (we both worked at the same office – that is how we met) because i didn’t know what i wanted to do and i knew everyine would ask me. The day I told my boss I was pregnant he (my boss) assumed that I would quit my job, so I dug my heals in and said there was no way…which thankfully my husband knows me well enough to let me think about things before saying anything. Eventually we came to the agreement that if my boss let me work part time from home and hire someone to replace me in the other aspects that is what we would do. My boss let me and now I work at the most 10 hours a week. But I feel guilty for working and guilty for not working (putting all the pressure on my husband). Also I’m BORED and we moved to the country 3 months before our daughter was born so I laughed when you said there aren’t people for miles because that is my every day life. It is way to hard to go somewhere with my daughter and take a walk (We live on a busy street so we can’t walk there) so I’m typically stuck inside all day or I can sit on our porch if it is nice but I’m going stir crazy…

    Anyways I just wanted to thank you for your posts and I so appreciate your little bites of wisdom for staying at home.

  4. Jessica K. says:

    Nancy, hearing you describe what it was like to be home with Gus brings back memories of what it was like for me when I was home with Max. He was a December baby and boy is it hard being home with a newborn (first baby especially), and not even be able to go outside for a walk. I do feel that my time being able to continue to work at the lifecare center was such a saving grace during those first 3 and 1/2 years as a mom. Our discernment for me to be a stay-at-home mom is similar to that of yours and Bill’s, and I still can’t believe I am doing it. I love it but their are lonely days too!! Especially out in Elk River where I experience the same, “post nuclear bomb” feeling during the daytime. I remember feelings so lonely the first few weeks that I even started to chat up the mailman just so I would “know” someone. I am grateful to do my part-time job (although it makes me feel divided at times) but it helps keep me a bit in touch with myself. I keep thanking James though for all his sacrifice that allows me to be home with the kids, homeschooling, and just being the one to care for them. Right now I am trying to wrap my mind around doing this with four, and it’s hard to fathom. It’s a one-day-at-a-time, only by the grace of God calling but one that knows more mini-miracles, sufferings, and joys in a 24-hour period than any other job. Thank you for you post, and we really should share our loneliness one of these days soon!! Jessica

    • sharing our loneliness–that actually doesn’t sound bad at all. Oh Jessica–I am so glad you aren’t in that tiny house in Robbinsdale any more…I just wish you big beautiful house was in Plymouth! You wrote this so beautifully! Every time another mom writes about her experience I am amazed at how we have walked much of the same journey!

  5. Marilyn says:

    Nancy, what a beautiful post. Being a stay-at-home mom is by far the most important job in the world…you are shaping the future. As a (mostly) stay at home mom whose kids are either grown or about to go off to college, I can tell you that being home makes the world of difference!

  6. Susan says:

    I had my first baby at 30 and worked until she was 9 months old and my husband was stationed overseas. I was blessed that my job was very flexible and I was able to find quality child care close to my office. I have not looked back since I became a full-time stay-at-home mom. Who else will care for my children as lovingly as I do? I do struggle with the concept that I’m “only a stay-at-home mom,” but I wouldn’t choose to give anything but my everything to my family. Fortunately, my husband agrees.

    • sounds like you have a wonderful hubby–like I do! And, I can’t imagine doing this while my husband was deployed. My sister is also a stay-at-home military mom who has been through a deployment, and will be through more. You guys, I admire you. Much love, Susan!

  7. Penny Doty says:

    I only got to stay home for 6 weeks before handing my 3 boys off and in that 6 weeks I would baby sit so I was still bringing in money, I felt very guilty for working and leaving my boys with child care, in turn I had to be a very streaked mom, and when they were old enough not to need child care, oh boy did I have my work cut out for me, I had to be really stricked because I was a dental assistant and was gone over 12 hours a day, but because I was a mom and not a friend all my boys are doing wonderful they support them sleeve’s and there family’s and have told me on several occasions they are glad I raised them the way I did, but I did discipline, if they needed a swat, they got one, you don’t have to beat a child, but if you are study on your discipline. you will have a well balanced home when they are older. My oldest always said he did not understand why I would not let him put dishes in the sink, but my rule you dirtied them you clean it, and now that child is 34 and he said he is the same way, he cant stand to have a dirty dish in the sink. When I married my husband, he could not do anything for himself because his mother did everything for him, so I told my boys you will learn to do it so you can help your wife. and I have dealt with depression all my life, not easy at all and still fighting it.

    • thank you for sharing this, Penny! Motherhood is a challenge, whether you are at home full-time or working full-time (maybe more so if you are working full time!). sounds like you are teaching your boys wonderful lessons! Keep fighting!

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