Keeping Our Little Girl’s Modesty

  1. amazing dressing for kids.nice post thanks for sharing

  2. Carolyn says:

    This idea of modesty is frustrating to me. As a young woman, I dress pretty conservatively (more business casual) because I work in a biochemistry laboratory. Usually pants and a sweater in my unheated lab. I wear a red cassock and bulky white robe to church because I am in the choir, but my dress underneath is at least knee-length if I’m not wearing pants. In summer I wear long flowing skirts. My hair is cut into a pixie. So I am very covered up. But everywhere, in church, in class, grocery shopping, basically as soon as I leave my house, men look at me and frequently bother me. I can’t do anything about their thoughts and stares and if I thought these were in my power, I would drive myself crazy. I do my part. If men don’t do theirs, it’s not my problem. I can’t change the shape of my body (well I guess I could gain weight but that is not an option, nor would it change anything). So I just ignore them and refuse to give them my time of day. I hope that your little girl does not grow up thinking the uncomfortable stares she gets from men are her responsibility. Even Mennonite, Mormon, or Muslim communities with strict dress codes for women have to deal with marital infidelity and sexual harassment and assault.

    Modesty is a virtue, but it goes beyond women’s clothing and on to how we treat our brothers and sisters. I think avoiding displays of wealth or power is more important to community-building than is worrying about what men think of us.

    God bless you and your beautiful family.

    • You bring up such a good point here. We can’t control the way men look at us–and especially what goes on inside of their minds. The best we can do is try to raise young men of virtue and try to change the world!

  3. Such a gorgeous dress. Perfect for the holidays.

  4. Anna says:

    I want to scream and jump up and down with you yelling YYAAAAASSSSSSS! Holy cow! What a wonderful read. I don’t have any daughters (yet), but remember how hard it was to find an appropriate dress for my niece to be the flower girl at our wedding. Shockingly. THANK YOU!

  5. Lauren says:

    The struggle for appropriate girls’ clothing is real! I go to about 20 websites every time I shop because, geez people, like you say, the kid is 3! I think you are right the root cause is lost modesty, and I wonder if the related topic of a disrespect for childhood innocence is also at work. Thanks for the website recommendation!

    • You are totally right Lauren. There is a total disrespect for childhood innocence. And why are we so quick to corrupt our youth? Innocence is a beautiful thing. I just don’t get it.

  6. Ellen says:

    I have to admit, I struggle with this. Not the modesty concept, I totally get that and agree with it. But the line seems so…intangible. I tend to think capris and a nice short sleeve top are perfectly acceptable. I think a one piece bathing suit with appropriate cover when sitting on the beach, which I take off when I get in the water is appropriate. I wear knee length dresses to church. I don’t wear tank tops myself (maybe if I was in better shape I would), but I don’t have a problem with my four year old wearing spaghetti straps sundresses, etc. (and using a little cover if we go to Mass). And what about shorts? I was always taught to the longest fingertip or a bit longer was okay…I know some shorts are just ridiculous. But for me? For my four year old? What about when she is eight, ten, twelve, sixteen? If you go by the “Marian modesty” standard or the Padre Pio standard I should be in elbow length sleeves, skirts eight inches past my knee (only skirts), and a top that comes only “two finger lengths” below my collar bone. Forget swim suits, but wading into the Atlantic Ocean in an eight inch skirt is a good way to drown. I would LOVE if someone gave some practical guidelines. Shorts this long, tank tops but only if the shoulder is this wide…but I know it’s not going to happen. Does exposure of the upper arm on a woman really lead a man to lust or the sight of a woman’s knee?

    • Yeah, when you really dig into the details on this it gets confusing and overly complicated. I don’t have any good answers here. I am certainly not going to stop swimming and I plan on encouraging my daughter to swim all of her life…and in a swimming suit ;). More than anything it comes down to intention. That might be overly simplifying the matter, but if we get dressed intending to be modest and protect our purity than length of skirts and sleeves are just details we don’t need to worry about.

  7. Justine says:

    I love this post! It took a while for me too to understand the balance between dressing “frumpy” so I wasn’t an object of lust or dressing too sexy… we can dress (our age) and feminine, in our own way, and the sexiness comes from the inner beauty and confidence that can shine how it should. Your daughter is adorable; I’ll have to keep this in mind when I’m looking for my girls’ dresses!

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