3 Benefits of NOT Spacing Your Kids

  1. Libby says:

    I’m pregnant with my third. Oldest is 22 months, second is 10 months, and this one is due 7 months from now. I love all that you said. I’m excited to see how our family with grow and change as we (hopefully) keep adding babies to the mix. Our lives have gotten better and better each time we have a baby. The good Lord is taking care of us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, makes me more excited and proud of my babies.

  2. Molly says:

    After YEARS of infertility issues we have been blessed with five beautiful children in eight years. And so I try to remember that my crazy, loud, happy, and often chaotic life is proof of how abundantly blessed we are. People often see us and comment “You’ve got your hands full!” and I have learned to reply “And my heart is full too!”. This almost always causes people to seriously pause and then smile.
    I too agree that having my children close together has caused them to be genuinely excited and joyful each time a sibling is added. They even talk about “when the next baby comes…” as if it is the most natural and wonderful thing. I have seen first hand that while they don’t always share perfectly or even get along all the time, having siblings close in age has truly taught my children to love and take care of each other in a way nothing else could have.

  3. Rebecca says:

    I’ve definitely experienced the look from others and the “you’re a busy mom” or “you’ve got your hands full”. We have a 5 yo, 4 yo, 3 yo, 11 month old and (about a month ago- miscarriage at 9 wks). We also get asked a lot if the boys are twins. There is barely a quiet moment in our house but it’s the best having the kids so close in age. They love to play together. They are so creative and learn from each other. We have had similar experiences with sharing- they aren’t always good at it but they truly care about each other and want the other sibling to have some of what they have. Completely agree with your no jealousy assessment! We haven’t had any trouble with that because from what they can remember they have always had a sibling. My first two are 12 months and 2 days apart. We didn’t have any trouble with the youngest two- my 3 yo old loves his little brother so much! He gives him hugs and kisses all the time. We are truly blessed!! All Glory be to God!

  4. Kerry Bevens says:

    It is so difficult to have an only child (as I have written before). We are hoping God will bless us with another child. She has many little friends, but she is lonely. It is very clear and I struggle with guilt because of this.

    I teach dance on Saturday mornnigs, not for the money, but we need a break from one another (I am being very honest). AND I feel like in many ways because I teach young children, I can “mother” them as well……may sound crazy, but I love my students as well……..in a different way than my daughter, yet I feel I can nurture them in some ways

    • JPII talked a great deal about a “spiritual maternity”. I think the way you feel about your students is only proof of what he talked about.
      Also, I am sorry for your struggles to have more babies. Who knows why these things happen? Blessings and peace, sister.

  5. Mary says:

    We only have 3 so far and I consider it a blessing that they’re close together in age, despite the chaos that ensues sometimes. They are 2 1/2, 1 1/2 and 3 months old. We live rural, so they really only have each other. I love watching my older two bond and play together, true bffs. 🙂

  6. Leslie says:

    I’ve got it both ways–three kids in four years, then a six year space, then a three year space. I needed the rest after the first three, but I cherish those days. We both wish now we had gotten one more in that big gap.

  7. Patti says:

    I love this and live this…we have an almost 7yr old, 5 1/2 yr old, 4 yr old, 2 1/2 yr old & a 3 mo old.
    It’s definitely crazy here but they are each other’s best friend, you are so right! The other day we had left overs for lunch and we had 1 hamburger so we split it between two kids. The other two wanted some, too. We tried to explain why everyone got something different but they were not happy still. Then, our oldest split his half in half and gave it to the toddler. We were so in awe and that act of kindness inspired our other boy to share his with his younger sister. They still struggle big time with toys and we always look like a circus in public, but little moments like the hamburger one really make me proud of my kids and so grateful they have each other.

  8. Caroline says:

    Aww! I actually look at your family and think, wow – how nice to have big spacing, ha ha! Guess everyone’s perspective is different (4 living kids here before our oldest was age 3). I think it is so nice of that lady to give you a positive comment like that! In the last week, one stranger has told me I should try birth control, and another actually told us we should “stop making babies.” Both of these comments were made in front of our kids. God bless that lady for telling you something positive! And what beautiful pictures! I know there is no way I could take all four of my kids to a public pool on my own! That’s amazing – well done!

    I do have to disagree with them not being jealous of new babies, though. Maybe it’s different if they are 18 months or closer to 2, but it’s been my experience that kids under a year and a half/a year and a quarter just do not get it and have a really, really hard time accepting younger babies. Other than that, nice blog post! And God bless you and your growing family!

  9. My first two kids are less than 11 months apart and them my third is 16 months younger than my second. Because of where their birthdays fall they are in consecutive grades (2nd, 3rd, and 4th). I wanted them close together because I didn’t want to have to start over again with bottles and diapers. Once i was done with bottles and diapers, that was it. Now thinking about all three of them being in college at the same time gives me palpatations, but we’ll deal with that when we get to it.

  10. Lindsey says:

    I completely agree, Nancy. I grew up as the oldest of four, and we were all spaced out over ten years. I used to think that gaps of 2 years or more was the most “reasonable” way to space kids (my mom’s biggest gap was 5 years). But God had other plans for my 2 children so far, and they are 13 months apart. I now LOVE that they are so close together at 2 years and 1 year old currently. They play together, learn to share like you said, and always have a friend. And the transition for a younger sibling was so easy on my oldest since she was so young, she really didn’t care. It makes the hard days more bearable, knowing that they have each other and will be close in age all growing up. I am a complete convert on this issue, thanks to the big guy upstairs 😉

    • 13 months! you have Irish twins! I have never experienced that close and I’m sure you had some tough times, but how beautiful! The hard time seem so small compared to all the good. Blessings!

  11. Jessica says:

    Our families are very similar. We have a 5.5 yo, 4 yo, 2 yo, and 2 month old. While it is very crazy at times, I wouldn’t change it for the world!

  12. Alicia says:

    I worry about the competition between my close togethers. Thanks for the reminder of the positives. 🙂

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