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J1ST 87: The Seven Sorrows of Mary and Infertility

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Hello Listeners!

With yesterday being the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, in today’s episode, we’re taking a closer look at the Seven Sorrows of Mary along with the concept of being open to life, even if it leaves your arms empty (or emptier than you want them to be).  We’re talking specifically about infertility but as Catholic Women, practicing natural family planning can leave our families looking very different than we’ve envisioned, so everyone can get something from this episode (we hope 🙂 )

The devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows is closely connected with the Feast of the Exaltation of the Cross which has been celebrated since the year 326. Many of the great saints have written on her sorrows and Mary recently encouraged this devotion in the 1980s when she made several visits to school children in Kibeho, Rwanda.  There is also a religious order that originally formed around a devotion to Mary at the foot of the cross called the Servites, formed in 1239. 

The Seven Sorrows are:

  1. The prophecy of Simeon
  2. The flight into Egypt
  3. Loss of the Child Jesus for three days
  4. Mary meets Jesus on his way to Calvary
  5. Crucifixion and Death of Jesus
  6. The body of Jesus being taken from the Cross
  7. The burial of Jesus

There is even a special form of the rosary with seven ‘septets’ instead of five decades (maybe you have one in your house put to the side because you thought it was defective. haha).  

We talk about the temptation to compare joys but also compare sorrows… She has it better than me. Or my struggle is more difficult than hers.  But the fact is: there is no way to objectively rate someone else’s pain on a scale of 1 to 10.  God doesn’t rate our suffering.

Katie speaks about the loneliness and ‘compassion fatigue’ (or maybe burnout?) that comes with infertility.  It’s hard to be sympathetic with a friend who is ‘accidentally’ pregnant or suffering from morning sickness, but the fact is their suffering is real too.  And pain is only magnified when we’re trapped in it.  Our Mother can help us with our sorrows. She is with us in this pain. She knew loneliness (Exile in Egypt), anxiety (the Christ Child is lost for three days), and desolation (seeing her son crucified).

There is so much to learn and so much comfort to find meditating on our mother’s sorrows.

One More Thing: If your parish or diocese is offering some sort of a ministry for those facing infertility: Please share with us!  We’d love to get more happening all across the US.

Your sisters in the small things,

 

Nancy and Katie

 

Things we mentioned in this episode:

 

Katie’s New Book: Waiting with Mary: A Seven Sorrows Devotional for Catholic Women facing Infertility (Lulu Link will be added here within the next week and a half…  follow TheJoyfulLeap on IG or FB for updates)

 

Naprotechnology: medical treatment of fertility issues that are in line with Church Teaching on Human Dignity and Sexuality

 

Organic Conceptions (Online emotional support program for couples dealing with delayed conception/infertility; Coupon Code for J1ST Listeners: JUSTONESMALLTHING)

 

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J1ST 084: Chapel Veils

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Today, we’re diving into another sacramental of our Faith: the Chapel Veil.  Reminder from last week:

Sacramentals do not confer the grace of the Holy Spirit in the way that sacraments do, but by the Church’s prayer, they prepare us to receive grace and dispose us to cooperate with it. (CC1670)

Wearing a veil at mass will not give you special graces the way a Sacrament does, but some women find it helps open them up to receive the graces of the Sacrament of the Eucharist.

Did you grow up in a parish where veiling was the norm?  Neither of us did. In fact, Nancy remembers seeing it once as a child and thought they were Mennonites or something (kids think funny things!!!) and Katie’s first exposure to covering (see what I did there) was at Latin Mass as an adult.

Interestingly, St. Paul writes about women covering their head while in prayer in his first letter to the Corinthians(Check out Chapter 11).  The tradition was carried over from the Jewish people and then picked up by various other religions after Christianity.  

The tradition was actually a requirement for centuries and then due to some misinformation from the press circa Vatican II, the Catholic World was told women veiling wasn’t required anymore.

Despite it not being ‘required’ anymore, many women are choosing to pick up the tradition again.

 

Why Some Women Choose to Veil:

  • As a sign of reverence for the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist
  • As a way to symbolize the difference between men and women
  • As a sign of unity with your husband 
  • Because, like the Eucharist, women can bare life. Life baring things are sacred.
  • It can act as ‘blinders’ and increase focus during mass/deepen prayer

 

Why Some Women Choose not to Veil:

  • Not aware of the tradition/that it is still “okay”
  • Husband is not on board (wearing something that is meant to be a visual sign of submission to your husband as to Christ that your husband Doesn’t Want You to Wear wouldn’t be a good idea)
  • It can be ‘attention grabbing’
  • It can be hard to keep your head covered while wrestling little ones during mass (making it more of a distraction than something that filters out distractions)

In this episode, we’ll tackle some of the Whys and Why Nots (and some solutions to the Why Nots). 

Just to be clear: We did not record this episode with the intent to tell every woman that they need to veil, BUT: if you have wondered if you should… if you’ve felt it on your heart to consider… this episode’s aim is to educate and assist in your discernment.  We hope you enjoy it!

 

Your sisters in the small things

 

Nancy and Katie

 

Catholic Teaching on Miscarriage

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Today we are talking about the Catholic Church’s teaching on Miscarriage. There has been a LOT of confusion on this point, and with the help of this GREAT BOOK written by two wonderful friends, Grieving Together (find it here: https://amzn.to/2MgFnO0), I work hard to answer some of those questions.

I cover the following questions:
1. Can we baptize our baby?
2. Can we name our baby?
3. Can we bury our baby? What do we do if we don’t have the baby’s remains?
4. Is my baby an angel? A saint?
5. Is my baby in Limbo? Heaven?
6. Is there a funeral or burial rite we can use?

I hope this information brings you comfort during this time of grief. I have been through 2 miscarriage and 1 stillbirth loss, so I know how hard this time is and how hard it can be to find some of this info.

You are in my prayers, sisters!  I also encourage you to connect with and follow my friend Laura, who wrote this book with her husband. She has a beautiful ability to speak about grief. She blogs here: https://motheringspirit.com and she has a beautiful instagram feed here: https://www.instagram.com/thismessygrace/

And, don’t forget to check out her incredible book! It offers so much more helpful info for you as you grieve! https://amzn.to/2MgFnO0

And please consider joining us on Facebook! We Catholic parents need each other, so come and join a group where we can talk about raising saints, what is means to be Catholic and life as a Catholic!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/2125545047685401/

Your sister in the small things,
Nancy

This video first appeared on the Catholic Sprouts for Moms Youtube Channel. To enjoy more videos like this one, that are added each and every week, just head here: https://youtu.be/aJpKhBRnWSU

I’ve also shared about my own losses a couple of times. You can read about those losses here:

  1. Ideas for Memorializing Your Loss: https://catholicsprouts.com/over-30-ideas-to-memorialize-your-miscarriage/
  2. Because Miscarriage Changes Everything: https://catholicsprouts.com/because-miscarraige-change-everything/

J1ST 070: Living Well During the Holidays with Sterling Jacquith

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Hey friends!

I just love sharing wonderful Catholic ladies with you here on the Just One Small Thing Podcast, and I have another great one for you today! Sterling Jaquith is on today’s podcast, and if you don’t already know and love her, you will after this episode!

Sterling is passionate about helping Catholic women in a variety of ways. If you aren’t already listening to her podcast, Coffee and Pearls, then you should start. It’s great!

Sterling also runs a THRIVING Facebook group to help Catholic families embrace minimalism and leave chaos behind, she works closely with up-and-coming Catholic female business owners, and she has a wonderful resource for all of us as we head into the holiday season. Because, while the holidays are a beautiful time, they can also be a very stressful time, and a hard time on our marriages.

One of the most powerful things that Sterling said in our conversation, which I’m sure you feel is true, is that the devil loves American holidays. He loves how wrapped up in *things* we get–things that aren’t God. He loves the materialism, the stress, and the way our relationships can suffer.

In the episode, Sterling offers 2 simple strategies to live better during this coming holiday season:

  1. Have a Code Word
  2. Avoid the Pottery Barn Syndrome

Sterling digs deeper into each of these concepts in her book, Be Merry and will be helping women prepare for the holidays with her Holiday Training Workshop, which will be held on November 15th, 16th and 17th. I really think that we ALL should consider signing up and attending this training. Wouldn’t it be amazing to stay focused on GOD and FAMILY this holiday season, and actually enjoy it?

To sign up, just head here: http://bemerry.pages.ontraport.net

I hope you find a lot of value in this episode!

As I mentioned in the episode, I also have some great resources for Advent and the coming year available right now! Check them out!

I hope you are well!

You sister in the small things,

J1ST 069: The Holiness of Budgeting with Mary Harrell

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Hey friends! Welcome back to another episode of the Just One Small Thing Podcast. I hope you have been enjoying all of the wonderful ladies that I have had on lately. It has been so much fun chatting with them all and tapping into their unique wisdom!

I have another great lady to share with you today, and I have a feeling that her message will be as challenging for some of you as it was for me!

Mary Harrell from Domestic Apologist is here today to talk about…budgets. I know…ugh, budgeting.

When Mary brought this up as the topic she would like to talk about, I thought, well, okay, if you really want to. If you are like me, you get that budgeting is important, you do it a little bit, but would never deliberately go out of your way to learn more about it!

Well, Mary challenged me on this point, and I bet she will challenge many of you as well. In the episode, Mary shares how she met her husband (really good story) and how they ended up needing to seriously budget. Because of the circumstances, he was able to convince her to take Financial Peace University and, according to Mary, what they learned in that course allowed them to not only buy the house they wanted, but have a better marriage and live better.

It’s really inspiring! In this episode, we also talk about tithing, communication, the specifics of successful budgeting, and lots of other great topics.

Once you are done listening I encourage you to connect with Mary at her blog!

Here are a few links mentioned in this episode:

Also, as I mentioned at the end of the episode, my Marian Themed Liturgical Planner is on sale right now! I didn’t order as many as last year (when I sold out) so if you want one, go get one!

Check them out here: Marian Planner Liturgical Planner.

Your sister in the small things,