How Having Kids Did Not Kill Our Sex Life

  1. Teresa says:

    While I agree with the points here, it leaves out one major way that having kids can and often does kill your sex life, for weeks or months at a time: postpartum NFP. I feel disconnected from my husband, I miss him, I want to connect with him in this way. But I can’t, because my body didn’t read the textbook about how I’m supposed to have mostly dry days or a basic infertile pattern because I’m breastfeeding. Nope, my body is doing its own thing and it’s different every day. I can’t say yes to my husband because my body isn’t ready for another pregnancy yet. Oh well. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest, anyway 🙂

    • An excellent and important point. Yes, the days of postpartum for us NFPer is super hard. I went through this confusion for the first real time after our 4th, when it was clear that my body really did need a break from the constant pregnancies. I think I will edit this and add in something about that, because you are right, that does change things.

  2. JB says:

    I really wish I hadn’t read this. So, a marriage in which continence is practiced is not much of a marriage? I pray neither you nor your husband ever develop a disability that prevents intercourse. Trust me; great marriages happen when there is great faith. Everything else is optional.

    • That is completely true. Sex is not a requirement of marriage–see Mary and Joseph. However, Sex is a gift from God. Some people do have a marriage where sex is not possible, and this is a unique cross. It is not how God designed marriage, yet it can certainly be a path to holiness.

      I think it is far more common that people overlook sex when they become busy with other things and we need to be reminded of the great gift it is.

  3. It is very important, I completely agree with you! My husbands love language is touch and I love to love him the way he feels it most. I can do all the sweet little things; clean the kitchen, the house, do the laundry, dress up and make a fancy dinner, but all of those things do not make him feel loved deeply. Especially during pregnancy, when I feel a bit uncomfortable and more like a hippo than a sexy gazelle, our marital embrace means so much more. Thank you for the post!

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