A miscarriage offers many lessons.
In fact, I really believe that most of our lives have, in some way, been touched by miscarriage.
Perhaps you have lost babies.
Or your mother, sister, friend, co-worker. Once we are brave enough to talk about miscarriage, the number of people still grieving the loss of these “hidden” babies is tremendous.
And this pain is real, just as the loss was real.
Most of us don’t have a body to bury.
We never really looked pregnant and some of us never had a chance to announce the pregnancy.
And time drifts on.
So, despite our hurt and our emptiness, we aren’t really sure IF we should grieve, let alone how we should grieve.
Ways to memorialize them, ask for their intercession, and keep them alive in the memories of our families.
There are several different ways to memorialize those lost babies.
Pray about it and do what feels right.
And remember, there is healing and peace ahead.
Consider naming the baby lost to miscarriage.
It might feel a little odd, especially if you don’t know the gender due to an early loss, but naming the baby will enforce for you and others (especially other children) that this was a REAL life that was lost.
Naming also allows you to bond with the baby and claim it.
Once you have a name for the baby, use that name often.
Include the baby by name when you talk about your family and when you pray for family members.
There are several ways to include lost babies in the culture of your family.
Including them in family prayer is important, but you can also include them in family scrapbooks.
Include ultrasound pictures or a simple symbol so that when reading through the scrapbook your family can pause and remember the moment that they joined the family.
There are lots of beautiful ways that you can memorialize your lost babies through jewelry. Here are a few:
I keep this teardrop pin on the back of my wallet in remembrance of the baby, whom we named Peter, that I lost.
Many great options for personalized or non-personalized necklaces on Etsy. Here are two of my favorites:
Find it HERE.
Find it HERE.
Here is another example of a necklace to remember a lost baby, which was shared on my Facebook page.
The couple decided to use little pearls to represent those babies.
The mother shared, unfortunately, that she currently had sent the necklace away to get another pearl, for another lost baby.
I really love this Mother’s Ring uploaded on the Facebook Thread.
The little copper heart represents a lost baby.
But I am struggling to find a link to a similar product. So, if you know of the link, or make them yourself, please share it in the comments!
There are also some beautiful bracelet options on Etsy including these two:
Find it HERE
Find it HERE.
Many people also shared beautiful, artistic ways that they have memorialized their lost babies.
My own mothers suffered through many miscarriages and a couple of stillbirths.
This is how she memorialized her losses.
Sara, the mother that shared this image writes, “At one of my appointments I was able to record baby’s heartbeat.
After I learned that we lost him, I used some software online to convert the sound of his heartbeat into an image and put it on a canvas.
It hangs in our bedroom along with photos of our other children.”
I noticed that there are vendors on Etsy willing to make this print for you if you have a heartbeat recording.
I really love this idea because there will inevitably be little things that you don’t really know what to do with after the baby is gone and this supplies a nice place to display and see them.
Find it HERE.
Find it HERE.
It was also a popular idea to remember babies lost to miscarriage at Christmas.
And here is a personalized option from Etsy.
Find it HERE.
Find it HERE.
Here is one example shared by a woman on my Facebook page. She has three little ones waiting for her in heaven.
In the Facebook post, many women shared pictures of the tattoos they have gotten to remember lost babies.
Many were big and amazing.
Here are two examples of simpler ones, that are still so meaningful and beautiful.
And
Finally, it can be powerful to actually DO something to remember your lost babies. Here are a few ideas also supplied by my wonderful followers over on Facebook.
Donate a toy each year for a child that is about the same age as the baby you lost.
Make a donation in the name of the child you lost.
Start a scholarship fund in the name of the baby you lost.
Plant a tree for the lost baby.
Inscribe your baby’s name in the Book of Life at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents.
Okay, dear friends, I hope this was helpful and inspiring.
If nothing else I hope you see that many women have lost babies and we all are changed because of it.
Please, consider finding a beautiful way to remember your baby. There are so many ways to remember and it is so important that we do remember.
Because that baby, even though they are gone now, was real life.
Blessings dear friends. And, please, if you have any other ideas to add to this list, leave them in the comments. I will be happy to update this post as I want it to be a big helpful resource for those grieving.
Your sister on this journey,
Nancy
Losing a child through miscarriage is a profound experience, and finding ways to memorialize that loss can be healing. Embroidery Digitizing Services offer a unique avenue to honor the memory of a lost child through custom designs, providing a tangible and heartfelt keepsake for grieving parents.
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I Appreciate this post so much. I lost 2 babies. I had always wanted to plant 4 oak trees, each one representing my husband, me, and our two lost ones, for what was to be our family. The grief of loosing a baby is unbearable, and the heart break of enduring it alone was shattering. This post reminds me of what is most important to me – honoring the life God gave and keeping strong and true to my faith, with a heart filled with love. I will plant 3 flowers for Elijah, Abigail and me until I can do more to honor them.
Thank you so much for sharing all these wonderful keepsake ideas for keeping our little ones close to our hearts. You featured both my heartbeat canvas and the stacked rings. Just wanted to share with you the link for the rings. Found on Etsy and purchased at Anellas Jewellery Box.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/398435553/sterling-silver-stacking-rings-set-of?ref=shop_home_active_78
[…] Ideas for Memorializing Your Loss: https://catholicsprouts.com/over-30-ideas-to-memorialize-your-miscarriage/ […]
It’s hard to decide from what Happy Nest Home Goods makes. Loved that embroidery hoop, cute and yet so simple.
Hello. Thank you so much for this article. I too suffered a miscarriage many years ago. I still think of the child he or she might be today. It stays in your heart forever.
You asked if anyone makes a ring similar to the little heart above. I make one that can be personalized with an initial or left blank. I make it in sterling silver, rose or yellow gold filled. I’m always honored to be a small part of the journey and have a special place in my heart for making moms keepsakes to remember their little angels. Hope this helps and thanks for the opportunity to share.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/257287497/valentines-day-heart-ring-personalized?ref=shop_home_active_16
I am so sorry for the loss of all these precious babies. I am looking for ideas to comfort my daughter who was pregnant with our first grandbaby. She had a miscarriage almost 3 weeks ago. It hurts knowing there is not a band aid big enough to fix her boo boo this time. I appreciate the thought you gave to Natalie about how your life changes the minutes following a positive pregnancy test. It was fathers day when they announced their good news so we have pictures of us wearing the shirts she made us “grandpa to be” and “grandma to be.” I also have pictures of her positive pregnancy test. I want to do a collage of the smiles from that day to remember him. She told me yesterday she knows he was a boy. God bless all of you.
A few women I know (myself included) who have experienced miscarriage or infant loss have started an Elizabeth Ministry in our diocese. We help those who are grieving a loss by praying for and with them, listening, giving them materials (e.g. prayer shawls, information on how to bury their baby, etc.), connecting them with a priest, and many other ways. It might be worthwhile to look into this in your own diocese to see if one already exists or if you could start one yourself. For more information you can visit: http://www.elizabethministry.com/
How beautiful. thank you for sharing this.
Our second baby went to heaven in October 2015. She was due June 2016. June was hard although having her little brother in my womb made it a little easier. I expected October 2016 to be hard but I was just filled with the joy of remembering those weeks when she grew within me. June 2017 came around and I wanted to find some quiet way of celebrating her. I ended up coloring a mug that was then baked to set the design. I added “Celebrating Miriam” to the mug. Now each time I use it I celebrate her and ask for her prayers for our family. Finding joy in the midst of suffering was the lesson and the gift of her short time with us.
I love the idea of a mug. I have a mug I use every morning (a christmas mug because it is the biggest one we have!!!) and it would be such a simple way to remember that life in a quiet way.
A friend gave us a beautiful flowering plant for our backyard. Our sister in law made a stepping stone with our son’s name on it – it is by the plant. We were able to bury our son, but it is nice to have something to remind me of him at home, too.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you lost a baby you’d carried for a while. that must have been very painful and it is so beautiful to hear how your are remembering him. Blessings!
This really speaks to my heart, we are also suffering loss from a miscarriage and possibly another one after that (but we’re waiting for blood test results). I wonder what your thoughts are on “chemical pregnancies”, where conception occurred, pregnancy test was positive, but the baby died shortly after and you get a normal period. Is that still considered a miscarriage? Do we still get to grieve for them or is that overkill?
Of course you get to grieve! A life is a life, no matter how short. I feel like even in those minutes after seeing the positive pregnancy test everything changes, that baby is yours. And to never get to hold it, or even see it on an ultrasound, that is something you need to heal from.
Grief is your own. You get to grieve. Even if there is nothing other than a pregnancy test to show they ever existed, they still did, and are still a part of your family. If other people don’t understand that, or give you a hard time, try to just let that go. That baby was your baby, regardless of how much time you got to spend with him or her.
We have lost five children to miscarriage. We have named them. These losses were early enough losses we did not have funerals or graves. Every November around All Souls Day we have a Mass said for all five babies. I like seeing their names in the bulletin once a year. Since these losses were early, I don’t even have ultrasound photos of the babies. However, I do have a small bundle for each child that I keep in a carved box. Typically, it’s something small that relates to their name (I have a pearl for our daughter Pearl, I have a relic holy card for our child named Gabrielle Allegra after Blessed Gabrielle Allegra). And it might sound morbid, but I found a website online where you can custom design a gravestone. I have done this for all five children, print it off, and keep it in their bundle. Then during November when we visit graveyards to pray for the souls of the departed, I will pull out the pictures of these gravestones to “visit” and pray at. It helps since we do not have a permanent marker for them anywhere. I hope to be buried with this box.
wow, these are some incredible ideas–and so helpful for people like me that also don’t have ultrasound pictures or any remains. Also, how wonderful to include them on All Souls day. Perfect and thanks for sharing.
Aw, thanks for sharing our shadow box!!
It’s such a great idea! I feel like there are always odds and ends around that you don’t quite know what to do with, and this is a perfect idea.
This isn’t helpful for miscarriage, but with my stillbirth one of my last nurses encouraged me to donate milk. I pumped for several weeks and was able to donate about 80 ounces I think. This was a huge benefit to me physically as I recovered from an almost full term loss, as well as proof she lived. If she didn’t live, I wouldn’t have milk. She may well have saved another babies life or at least made it easier for them and their parents. To me, milk donation in any circumstance is a pro-life issue. I know it isn’t for everyone for a variety of reasons, but knowing what we do about human milk, it absolutely says that I value the life of these babies. I’m happy to talk about this with anyone experiencing a loss. I don’t know how late the loss needs to be for milk to be produced but it was so healing for me.
Oh my, this is such a beautiful idea, story, testament…all of it. Yes! It is proof that she lived and through that life you likely impacted or saved another. I will add this to the post right away.
And, I am so sorry for your loss. how very hard and confusing. Can I ask, what did you name the baby you lost?
Her name is Perpetua Grace. Thanks for including us!
Another thing I remembered last night is that you can have a rosary made from funeral (or other) flowers. We have a beautiful rosary made by some company I found on the internet.
beautiful idea.