To the Mom Who’s Feeling Burnout

  1. Lis says:

    I don’t like shopping either. I find that freedom a good time to do as many errands as I can without being slowed down by little ones and a chance to go to Holy Eucharistic Adoration without any interruptions.

  2. Chiming in with all the other comments that your post was extremely helpful. Definitely with you on feeling the same guilt, and not quite knowing how to cure the burnout, but seeing that perhaps it’s “simply” time that we need. I had to go to urgent care (aka germs-central) a few days ago and didn’t want to bring my two year old and eight month old with me. So out of necessity, I got that alone time. Perhaps God’s own way of making it happen somehow?

    Keep up the great work with your blog!

  3. Olivia says:

    I only really feel recharged when the children are gone from the house and I get to stay home. Stay in my p.j.s. Eat whatever I want. Not go anywhere, lounge around, read a book all day. Going OUT while they all stay home is not recharging for me, it is actually more work. All 6 of my kids out of the house at the same time for a day or even half a day? Almost impossible. But necessary. So, I take it in snippets. A couple hours here and there, perhaps even just a room, a closed door that no one can enter. Buts till, I don’t have to leave the house. It helps.

    And when we get back together there are many shouts of “mommy!” And excited faces to see me again. It’s good. 🙂

  4. Figuring out we need something is definitely the first step. I have been stuck at this step for a while now. I work full time and commute an hour each way to work, so wanting to spend more time away from my young daughter seems crazy. I just can’t figure out what charges me up or gives me energy.

    One of my struggles is that I think about everything one day at a time, I have to have quality time with the family every day, but if I looked at the long game, i can see the value of taking time to recharge. I realize having less, but more meaningful and less burnout quality time over the course of a week may be better for everyone. Thanks for writing so honestly.

    • Amy, you are really in a unique situation, and reading this helps me understand my husband a little bit better. I always think that his drive/work time is in a way a “break” that I don’t get from the monotony of the kids. But it’s not. It’s work/drive time.
      Take a break. recharge. I always think time with my kids when I am engaged and happy is better than full days of time when I am cranky and distracted.

  5. Elizabeth Anne says:

    I really appreciate your honesty and commend you for knowing yourself well enough to know what won’t help you recharge! I second the idea of a retreat. Even Jesus took time away to be alone, so I try not to feel badly when I, a weak and fragile human, need to pause too. I’m not that familiar with your blog (although I’ll definitely be back! ), but there’s really something to be said for sitting quietly in a church or out in nature. In a daily routine, I can’t find that kind of time, but I do have a flexible routine with my kids where they have “quiet time”, when they used to have naps, and they read or play Legos in their rooms, and I take ten minutes or so the pray and drink a cup of tea. A priest friend of mine calls it “making time to chit chat with God” and it has helped me enormously. I just ramble and ask for help or sit quietly, but it gives me a little boost. I’ll be praying for you! God bless you and your family!

    • I love this idea, and the fact that you set aside just 10 minutes. I am just to the point where my kids are dropping naps, so I am getting used to not having my afternoons entirely to myself (yup, they were good nappers and I was pretty spoiled). When quiet time only lasts 30 minutes I get mad and cranky. But to think of it in a smaller way and make chatting with God a priority…yes, that is what I need.

  6. Megan says:

    Great post. This is where I am too. This week I have been trying to figure out how to snap out of it. I feel like I am going through the motions without really enjoying much. I feel guilty about it too. I have a wonderful husband, 4 healthy kids, a nice house…what is my problem? I am hoping when winter is over my mood will pick up some. And my husband and I just planned a night where the kids will sleep at his parents house. I can’t remember the last time we had a weekend to ourselves!

    • Well, I think that night with your hubby will go a long way to helping! When I get down I just try and shake things up for my little family–and unexpected daytrip, activity. I’ve realized my kids get in a rut just like I do and shaking it up helps.
      Prayer, momma!

  7. Sheena says:

    Oh my goodness…I needed this so much. Thank you! I’ve been feeling so burnt out with my three toddlers lately and with that burn out, the guilt. Oh the guilt. It’s lifts my spirits so much to read that I’m not alone. And now I need to get some time because really, that is the cure. 🙂

  8. Andrea says:

    Hi Nancy! I am new to your blog but I just wanted to let you know that I love all of your posts on motherhood. I really feel ya on this stuff sister! I am a new mom with a baby yet I am experiencing these emotions too, especially the mom guilt! I didn’t recognize it until recently and now I see that I am feeling this all the time. Thank you for this reflection and for helping me see that mom guilt is a real thing! We moms still need to take care of ourselves and rest and recharge and not feel guilty about it, and the struggle is real. You will be in my prayers as with all the other mommies out there!

    • Thank you, Andrea! The guilt is the worst with the little babies–and for me with my first. I just felt like I should never get tired of being with the baby, of being nursed on…like I was a bad mom if I did get sick of it. But who wouldn’t get sick of it when you are asked to do it day and night? I keep hoping I leave the mom guilt behind at some point, and if I ever figure out how to do that, I will shout it from the rooftops!

  9. Jacqui says:

    Wow! Just how I feel right now. I’m leaving on retreat tomorrow night and can’t wait. But I also feel guilty for leaving my kiddos! My youngest is 18 months an I’m pregnant with #8! Haven’t gone on retreat since my youngest was born, so I know I’m due for one! I’m like you, I don’t know what to do with mommy time – I think time away from them will do it. Can’t shop either, I get overwhelmed and can’t afford it anyway ?
    Thanks for posting this! It totally hit home for me!

    • Wow, a retreat. Sounds dreamy. I hope you have a wonderful time and that you return recharged and ready for live with all 8 kids! I’d love to know what type of retreat you are going on. Silent? Women’s?

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