On This Season Of Motherhood

  1. […] Sometimes the day just goes wrong.  There’s pee on the kitchen floor, an hour ago you only found time to get half dressed and your 3 year old just locked your 3 month old baby in his room, alone. […]

  2. Judith Brown says:

    This reminded me of a few stories, most of them when my oldest three were small. They were in 3 1/2 years, then a stillborn which spread out the last three children a little more. (Six and no I’m not Catholic but people have asked.) But those first three with the “headstrongest” one as the firstborn of course, the way it always happens – whew! Once in the drug store, the infant was just sitting up in the buggy seat (you know how the drug store buggies are a lot smaller) the toddler was inside the bigger portion and the maybe 4 year old was standing on the side of the buggy, obviously making it side heavy and the whole thing fell over. The two younger ones had banged heads, all three were screaming, people in the store just looking at me and NO ONE offering to help pick up children. I scratched whatever I had come for. Picked up a POUND of M&Ms, paid for them and went home. Put the kids to bed and ate most of the bag.

    Then when baby #4 was little and sleeping, the other three wouldn’t let me have a serious phone call from a friend who’d just lost a parent the day before. Hiding in the bathroom didn’t work – they followed me, of course. So I kept talking while I quietly pushed them gently out of house and went around and locked all the doors. By the time I hung up there was a child sobbing at each of the three doors and I was really, really happy for the quiet neighborhood which wasn’t teeming with DSS workers!

    There are plenty of moments that I probably wouldn’t look back and laugh at, but graciously, the Lord has allowed me to forgot most of those. ( ;

    • I love that you went and bought a lbs of M&Ms. Truthfully, I spent most of my afternoon eating copious amounts of dark chocolate. I wonder if this will be one of those events that the good Lord will allow me to forget…but I supposed blogging about it won’t help in that department :).

  3. Emily Reiter says:

    Ah! See, I knew I liked you! ya, I was going to add a comment like, “sorry for the life story” but that’d be more text and there was enough already! There, I added my little blog. Mostly pictures for family, then some random tales. I only posted on the moment of crazy one a couple times, it was really just for me.

    Btw, I found your blog via Petals to Picots when she posted about your little family cross-stitch.

  4. Emily Reiter says:

    Oh Nancy, I think I am completely in love with you. You’re Catholic AND a mom AND you embroider!!!!! It’s like you’re me, but you actively blog. My family blog has been blank for a few months since my mom joined FB and I’m lazy, even with social media.

    My third baby was born 5 weeks early and 3 months before my first was 3. So, I had a premie, a 2 yr old and a 13 month old. Yes, it was insane. Totally hard. I started a separate blog for myself to write the stories similar to yours. I titled it “My Moment of Crazy” because things would always seem to come to a head together! All 3 babies screaming, at least 2 of us crying (often me), and someone inevitably getting hurt and of course someone pooped. Always, I would be thinking of calling my husband, yet again, in tears, begging him to come home. But then they would be fed, or the TV would come on, or I would stop whatever I was doing that obviously didn’t need to be done right that second and I’d nurse the baby. Whatever the crisis of the moment was, it was now over. Then I would think, “Whew! My brain didn’t explode. Everyone is ok. I actually handled that!” Sometimes I would call my husband to explain the craziness I had been through or to say crisis averted.

    In all honesty, though, I was suffering with post-partum anxiety. That definitely didn’t make things easier. It’s hard to be happy about your baby when your brain shows you frightening thoughts. I won’t mention anything specific because it could be a trigger for some. But it is a completely normal symptom of anxiety and does NOT mean you are crazy. I used encapsulated placenta for a while after the birth, that helped. Then tried progesterone shots (from the Pope Paul VI Institute, Dr. Hilgers), but I would wait too long between doses and just got worse. Finally at the baby’s 6 month appt with our Family Practice Dr, I made an appt for myself, too and just said, “I’m a mess! I’ll take anything so long as I can still breastfeed!” Prozac to the rescue. That and an excellent and highly recommended psychologist. I could literally FEEL the worries melting away in my brain. Much better able to cope. And, I joined my local embroiderers guild of America. *choir of Angels singing* I was stitching again! I hadn’t had a needle in my hand since my first was born. I knew that was missing in my life.

    Now our 4th baby is almost 6 months old and I have actually been able to ENJOY her!!! The oldest is 5 and in Kindergarten. I still have 3 kids at home most days. It is hard. It is STUPIDLY hard. Harder than I think it should be, but we don’t have friends or family next door. As a result, I’m almost accosting other moms I see in the grocery and WalMart and asking if they want play dates. The best advice I received when I was at your stage was “lower your expectations.” A friend and a TOTAL STRANGER both told me that on the same day. That HAD to be the Holy Spirit talking if I ever heard Him, when 2 completely unrelated people told me the exact same thing on the very same day. To me, it means that a Good day is when everyone (including you) is fed and relatively clean. Diapers were changed and you actually drank enough water and got enough food to go to the bathroom. If you are exhausted after all that, then sit down. If you aren’t then move those clothes from the washer to the drier so they don’t spoil. You’ll get there, momma. Clawing through one crazy moment at a time.

    • Emily–seriously, this comment is really a blog post. You bared your soul, offered me a ton to think about and made me laugh. Promise me you will blog again soon!
      And, we have one more thing in common. I too went through pp anxiety issues, after my 1st. We did progesterone and anti-depressants–and now that is just my pp plan because I am not not not going back there, ever.
      I just can’t tell you how touched I am that you left this beautiful comment. It is so nice to know that you’re not alone, that your not crazy (or a least that your not the only not that is crazy :)). I wish you were my neighbor so that we could get together and stitch while we swapped crazy kid stories. That would be nice. That would be very nice. All the best to you and your 4 kidos. and thank you.

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