The Humbling Experience of Moving
Moving is the worst whether single, married, with kids or without.
No one likes moving–at least not sane people. It’s one of those things we all just live through and do when we have to.
My little family recently relocated from Minneapolis to Kansas City.
The weather here is amazing and the people we’ve met so far are fantastically kind.
But moving is still pretty miserable.
This was my first adult move with kids.
The last time I moved was 6 years ago.
I was moving into a house my then-fiancé and I had just bought, all by my lonesome.
He joined me 3 months later after we were married.
That move wasn’t fun either, but without all the kid stuff, and pre-wedding gifts, and with basically no furniture, we really didn’t have very much stuff–one cattle trailer to be exact (proud farm girl here).
I had spent the year before this, after all, renting a small bedroom from my sister.
This move, however, was different. It took a semi to get us out of one house and into another.
And what was that semi-packed with? Stuff.
So much stuff.
See that’s the thing with moving. You are forced to touch and think about EVERY SINGLE THING THAT YOU OWN.
Things that you inherited, things you ended up with, things that you had squirreled away in the back of some cabinet or cupboard because well, what else were you supposed to do with them?
I spent a considerable amount of time and energy purging before we moved.
Huge loads were donated, an even huger heap (including all of my old teacher binders) was thrown away.
And that felt really good.
But as I go through boxes here in Kansas I am still overwhelmed with the sheer volume of our stuff.
Moving is a profoundly humbling experience.
Just as I have been forced to deal with all those strange and forgotten items at the dark corners of my house, I have also been forced to acknowledge a few very humbling things about myself.
#1 I am accustomed to a very comfortable life–and all my stuff has everything to do with that.
I don’t like to think I am so attached to my stuff, but when I have to live without it, even temporarily, I get crabby.
Spent a few nights without my good pillow and woke up whiny each morning.
I still can’t find the scrubby pads that I use to scrub pots so each night when I do the dishes I throw myself a little pity party.
When I get my head out of my butt I realize how lame this is.
Am I that much of a princess?
I live with far more comfort than most people in this world and yet I’m stomping around my house because my husband hasn’t set up the printer for me yet.
Lame.
The comforts of my life have made me a pretty selfish, spoiled person.
Without them I’m crabby and that’s embarrassing. I wish I was more flexible.
#2 All of this stuff is a burden.
There is nothing like seeing a moving crew straining under the weight of all your stuff, spending an entire morning hauling it off a gigantic trailer.
As the boxes piled up I couldn’t help but wonder, where did all of this stuff come from?
Is this all mine?
Am I responsible for all of this stuff?
And I started to see all these little things as what they really are: a huge burden.
There are certain things a family needs, a table to eat at, beds, and even toys for the kids.
But the level to which things accumulated in my life is shocking.
Six years ago we moved into our house with only one cattle trailer of stuff.
Over that short amount of time, we’ve managed to fill an entire semi-trailer.
What happened?
Kids, yes, but it’s not all them.
And even if it is, I’m the one that let it get out of control.
After the move, I am ready for another purge.
It is a lot of work to find a place and purpose for every little thing that we own, not to mention the work it will be to keep track of all the things and put them away each night.
Who needs this?
Some days it feels like all I do is manage our stuff.
And that’s no way to live.
#3 Stuff makes life too complex
The more clothes I have the longer it takes me to get dressed.
And the more books the kids have the more fight there are as they pick out one to read.
The more stuff in our house, the more time I spend picking up each night.
More than anything, after the move I crave simplicity.
I crave big open, clutter-free spaces.
Yes, everything I’ve purchased for my family was for a reason, but I’ve begun to wonder about the cost of accumulating all of these things.
It’s fun to have new, nice things, but as I unpacked box after box this week it wasn’t fun.
There were many things I was happy to find, but a lot of the time I just wondered, “why do we have this?”.
What purpose does it serve?
Does it make my life better…or does it just make my load heavier?
And so the battle of the stuff continues for us here in Kansas.
Like nearly everyone that has been through a move, I am determined to buy less and get rid of more.
We are very blessed and our lives are very full–and that has absolutely nothing to do with the things that we own.
All the best–and a special prayer for all of you mothers out there headed toward your own move.
Nancy
Wonderful, thoughtful post! Thank you!
We are looking at a potential out-of-state move ourselves this year. Do you have any advice you would impart, now that you’re on the other side of the move? 🙂
I’ve been following minimalist blogs on FB lately and loving them. They are so inspiring to think critically about the things we own. I suggest prescribing to some of their suggestions.
We are moving from Manchester to London in two months. We have family there and business and now it is time to move closer because from here we can’t manage our work anymore. I hope that everything will go well. I hate moving, but there is no other way for us. Greets!
We moved away from family–moving toward family sounds wonderful! Good luck with the move. Purge in the process!
Stuff makes life more difficult and a house move to feel like hell. When you are moving with your big family is even worse because the stuff just comes out of everywhere! We are planning a move in two months and I’ve started with decluttering already because I know that I need to get rid of many things. We have 3 kids and two dogs so it will be exhausting! Thank you for sharing your experience! I will definitely start from early so I don’t struggle too much with handling all the stuff. Good luck with settling!
and good luck with your move! Don’t let the stuff get ya down. Where are you moving from and to?
Thank you for sharing this and your honesty, it is true, I look around and see the clutter in my house and even though we are not moving, I think I need to do something about it, but it is almost too overwhelming to start. And then even if I pack some things up I have a hard time parting with a pieces of my girl’s childhood, so they are packed in the attack where no one gets use of them. I am working at coming to terms with parting with stuff. Everything you read says less is more, and you are happier when you purge and I think this is true, but then you get the opposite message when you go to the store! Good luck in your new home, and again, I love reading your posts.
Tracy, I think we all struggle with this in a very real way. I am so emotional about my stuff–and I don’t really understand why. Something I always keep in mind, however, is an image I have of my younger sister leaving for religious life with only a grocery bag of things she needed, everything else she was leaving behind. It was shocking, but I couldn’t help think how freeing and liberating that would be. Because in the end, stuff is just stuff.
We moved last May, and I purged a lot before we moved, and then as we gradually unpacked over the next several months, but I’m just now finally getting around to deep purging. As in, “we haven’t used this in two years” kind of purging, digging through Rubbermaid buckets and donating, donating, donating. One of my brothers is coming to live with us, so I have a deadline, which is great for my procrastinating self. And it is So Freeing to get rid of all the things that I felt bound to keep because I’d made them or someone else had or they were given us, even though we don’t use or want them! What a burden stuff can be! And even though most of the extra stuff was stored out of sight, it still hampered my ability to keep house well. Even though I still struggle to stay on top of things (after all, I’ve a toddler), it’s made a huge difference in my desire and ability to keep a tidy home.
I love this, and you are so speaking my language. So interesting, the link to a tidy home. Now that might really encourage me to get to work and do a deep purge myself. You’re right, stuff is SUCH A BURDEN!
Boy, can I relate to this! We just moved in August (we move A LOT), and I too am always struck by the shame I feel when faced with the ridiculousness of all the stuff I’ve managed to accumulate.
Btw, welcome to Kansas City! We’ve been here about two and a half years (by way of Ohio), and we adore it here. I think you’ll find that KC has a wonderfully vibrant, welcoming faith community! Speaking of which, I’d like to invite you to a playgroup of Catholic moms that meets on Friday mornings in various places around KC. These wonderful, faith-filled women have been an immense blessing to me since we moved here. I’d love to share that gift with you. ? Feel free to email me, and I’ll make sure you are added to our email list!
In Christ,
Rachel
You are so sweet and I would love to be part of this playdate. Emailed you!