Lessons From a Miscarriage

  1. Hannah says:

    I just lost our third yesterday at 6 or 7 weeks. I was still waiting for my first appointment with the midwife. Like you, this pregnancy was unplanned and I felt guilty about my initial lack of excitement and tears shed over the timing. I was “grieving” the plans that we had made for the next year that would now be changed. Now I’m grieving the loss of their life. My excitement had been growing over the last two weeks. I was thinking of ways to tell our family the news. Being so early, I don’t know the “right” way to grieve but I’ve been resting when needed/possible, crying when needed. And being reminded of my two blessings that I have here with me on earth.

  2. Rose says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. I have been in a similar boat, with 6 kids across 8 years, so I know the feeling of being overwhelmed. I also have 2 babies in heaven. Most recently we lost our Emma Grace at 9 weeks in January and it has been hard. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with our next child and not a day goes by that I don’t think of our lost little ones and worry over the safety of this new one. My 4 and 5 year olds have actually been a great comfort to me, reminding me of their siblings in heaven.

  3. Andrew Martin says:

    Those are lovely words Nancy which I’m sure will help the many people who experience miscarriages. My wife and I are blessed with 8 children with another 4 already in heaven. As a husband, after our first miscarriage, I was deeply shocked at the intensity of my grief. It was at times overwhelming but talking (or reading) about others who knew something of our experience of loss really helped. God bless you and your lovely family.

  4. Christina says:

    I just found out I lost my son about two weeks ago. I am still absolutely devestates. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Alicia says:

    Thanks for linking up, Nancy. The honesty of your words can help other mothers who have felt that dramatic shift from “how are we going to manage with another baby?” to “how are we going to manage life without this baby?” <3


  6. Laura Reither says:

    Oh Nancy, This is what I get for not reading your blog consistently or out of order. My congratulations came to you after you had already suffered this loss. I am so sorry. What a strong and faithful woman you are!

    • Laura, you are so sweet. Losses are never fun, but I was lucky enough to go through with 3 kids already…and another pregnancy just a few months down the road. My heart really breaks for those that loose their first pregnancy, or pregnancy after pregnancy. That would be completely different.

  7. Erin says:

    Thank you for sharing this. We miscarried our second child last week and I remembered this post and went looking for it. It is a devastating experience that so many people have happen, but so few talk about. Our first son is 16 months old and we met/married late in life so we balance gratitude for easily getting pregnant at the age of 40 with the such heartache over a child lost. Thank you so much for sharing.

    • Oh Erin, I am so sorry for your loss. God is good, but so mysterious. Why these things happen, why we aren’t allowed to keep all of the precious babies that enter our wombs, I will never know. Please know that you are your little one, now in heaven, will be in my prayers tonight. Hug your son. Hug your husband and know the Lord will take good care of your baby until you meet him/her in heaven.

  8. Donna Lane says:

    i hurt for you. Our youngest daughter and her husband tried for three years to get pregnant with their second child. She and her older sister were pregnant at the same time when she miscarried, while her sister and her husband were blessed with their third son. It was traumatic for all of us. Now two years later her oldest sister and her husband are expecting their second child, our middle daughter and her husband are expecting their fourth child and our youngest is still unable to conceive. Solomon in the book of Proverbs gives a list of “things that are never satisfied,” one of which is the barren womb. We don’t know what God has in store, but we pray constantly that they might be given the opportunity to celebrate a child’s life again.

    • I hurt for you and your daughter too. Miscarriage is so much worse when paired with fertility issues. so much worse. and that sister stuff can be hard. I have 3 sisters. We’ve all been pregnant together and all (thankfully) welcomed babies. If one of us had lost the baby, well, I can’t even imagine.
      Prayers for your daughter–and you too!

  9. Sarah says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child at any stage – days, weeks, months, years old, is so difficult. My husband and I lost our daughter last summer the day after she was born. It was truly one of the most difficult points of my life to date. I take comfort knowing that we now have a little saint praying for her family in heaven. I don’t think a parent ever gets over a loss. It change us and our perspective on everything. Instead, we just learn to live with the missing piece of our heart.

    God bless

    • Oh my. My heart is breaking for you and your husband. What a loss! Prayers for you. I’d love to know her name. It is a powerful thing to know the names of those little saints up in heaven!

  10. Annette says:

    My heart grieves along with you at the loss of a loved one. My heart also rejoices with you knowing that one day we shall see the faces of those loved and lost before we cherished the joy of holding them in our arms. Last year in March I went in to the dr because I’d been so sick. I thought it was the flu. I’m still not sure what it was because at that visit our OB told us that we’d lost our baby. I was so overwhelmed by the news that my baby had died I totally forgot that I had been so very sick. I think the shock of the loss that day and then having to wait over the weekend for a procedure to induce labor (I refuse to call it what they called it) shocked my system so severely that I was no longer ill. Not in the same way. Not in the kind of way that a dr can write a prescription for to help you feel better.
    We are currently expecting again (18weeks now) and have blabbed our joyous news to all near and far as we too believe that children are a precious gift from God and every life, no matter how long is meant to be cherished and celebrated. We trust that for however long this little life is entrusted into our care, we will do just that… Cherish and celebrate and love with abandon! And knowing how quickly life can escape us, we cherish and celebrate and love all the more fiercely now!

    Prayers for you and yours as you continue to walk this journey!

    • Annette–thank you for taking the time to share your story here. How heartbreaking! Miscarriage is do difficult, but I hope that you find tremendous peace and joy when this little one is in your arms. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts for our family. It means a lot. And, I know our 2 little ones are at peace and also praying for us in heaven.

  11. Marie says:

    I so needed this post this week! Thank you. I miscarried Monday our 4th child, who would have been born in January. It was my second miscarriage but just as difficult. It was really hard to tell our children. Thanks for talking about miscarriage.

    • wow. I am so sorry to hear that. We were so in sync. the baby I lost was my 4th and we were also due in December/January.
      It just feels so wrong, doesn’t it? To go from pregnant to just, not. Prayers for you and your family.

  12. Sylvia says:

    My husband and I recently lost our second child at 10 weeks and found out when we went to our ultrasound. We have cried and laughed, and named our little baby and brought his remains home with us in an urn. We have found a semblance of being at peace.
    But I still have days where I see other women who are pregnant and I mourn my fertility all over again – wondering if God would ever bless us with more children. Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding me that there is a greater purpose to everything.

  13. I know it took great courage to share your story, but I am certain that it will bless so many people (as evidenced already by the comments above). I, too, am continually amazed at how God can redeem those moments of pain and suffering we experience in the valley for His glory. It isn’t easy. And it is isn’t always easy to tie up in a nice bow, but it is true. Sending a hug as you guys continue to mourn the loss of this life. This post was such a wonderful way to honor your little one!

    • Thank you Lauren. We really have a lot of peace but it has been so amazing to connect with so many other women that have gone through this. Really a huge blessing.

  14. Cheryl Mahoney says:

    Thanks for sharing! Miscarriages are very hard. I’ve also been on both sides of this where I was surprised by a pregnancy when I thought we were done. And I also had 2 miscarriages when we were really trying to have a child. It’s a lot to deal with. But thankfully God does help us through this. One really cool thing that did come
    from the miscarriages is when we read “Heaven is for real ” and it talks about the little boy’s sister that was miscarried and that’s in heaven now. And how the little boy got to meet his sister .And it
    gave my husband and I and opportunity to share about the miscarriages with our elementary age kids. It’s been pretty special!

    • thank you for sharing this! And thanks for reminding me of that book! I haven’t read it, but now that I know I have a little one waiting for me in heaven I think I will!

  15. Melissa says:

    What a beautiful story! I had a miscarriage back in September at 18 1/2 weeks! Had no warning either! Went into the ultra sound to find out the sex and found that the baby was already was gone! I am now 30 weeks pregnant but this miscarriage still hurts. It is nice to see woman talking about it! Some many don’t want to talk about it or ask you how you are. All I wanted to do was talk about it. Talking helps the with healing! Thanks for sharing!

    • I am so sorry to hear about your loss–but so excited for the baby on the way. All losses are different–and I can’t imagine what that was like to go into the ultrasound and find out the baby was gone. My loss was so short–no wonder you are still grieving the baby you lost. Prayers for a safe delivery and very healthy baby!

  16. Ana says:

    Hi Nancy.
    I’m a mom to a 3yo little boy and just last December I lost a little girl at 18 weeks pregnant. Gave natural birth to her, got to hold her. My world fell apart. I never felt so lost in my entire life. I’m still grieving her loss even tough I’m expecting another little one right now, I’m 9 weeks along. She had chromosomal issues and I know she’s waiting in Heaven to get to know me someday. But still, never felt such pain before.

    • Oh my goodness! Who’s world wouldn’t fall apart? I am so happy to hear that you are expecting again–and know that you have my prayers for a very safe pregnancy and delivery, as well as a healthy baby. I hope that with this new little one you find healing and peace. Thank you for being here and sharing!

  17. Jodi Olson says:

    Beautiful Nancy~ Thank you for sharing!

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